Now the Work Really Begins - A Call to Action to the Pro-life movement

 When Roe v Wade was overturned Dobbs v. Jackson Women's Health Organization, 597 U.S. 215 (2022) there was much criticism to the phrase "now the work really begins" being used by pro-life activists. This was especially pertinent as the pro-life activists were defending themselves against the claim that they were anti women. To some it begged the question - why haven't you been helping women until now. But the truth is they had been. Many crisis pregnancy centers had been established across the country and they had been engaging in many other outreach efforts to support children and young parents.  

Rather, the meaning behind this phrase has to do with the legislative roadblock that the Supreme Court had imposed on pro-life Americans, an unfair and legally unsound aspect of the pro-abortion rulings (Casey and Roe) that was even criticized by the liberal legal giant Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg. Bear with me as I get a little wonky with you - I'll keep the legal analysis short and you will see why it is critical to understanding the political and cultural implications to the topic. There are two critical principles of governance that were violated in  this case that I want to address: Article 3 and the limitations on the power of the Supreme Court and states rights. In the US certain responsibilities and powers are given to the federal government: congress and the president, and all the rest are left to the states. It would be very difficult to have a unified country if each state used a different currency, it would be insufficient and ineffective for each state to bear sole responsibility to protect itself from invasion and foreign threats such as fentanyl crossing the southern border in Texas or responding to the terror attack on 9/11 in NY. Therefore, it makes sense the the federal government controls the currency, monetary policy, the borders and the State Department and the Department of Defense. However, the states are responsible for garbage collection, local zoning regulations and local issues related to law and order such as robbery, assault and murder. There is both overlap and points of contention in various situations such as a catching and convicting a serial killer who committed murders in multiple states or punishing a sex trafficker who crossed state lines. This is why city and state police often work with the FBI to tackle crime and conversely why the States and the Department of Justice or other offices of the Federal Government find each other on opposing sides in court. Private citizens and organizations can also bring one another to court and makes a case against their own state or the federal government, one of the most famous and joyous being Loving v. Virginia when a white man won the right to be married to a the love of his life, who happened to be a black woman when interracial marriage was outlawed in his state. 

This brings us to the limited powers of the Supreme Court. The job of the Justices is to interpret whether a law is constitutional, which means is it in line with the rights outlined in the constitution such as free speech, freedom of religion and so forth. They answers questions such as: is the government overstepping its authority and is the ruling of a lower court a correct understanding of a law as it was passed? The problem with the Supreme Court overstepping its limited role is that there is little to no recourse for US citizens when they don't like a ruling. It is nearly impossible to get rid of a single Justice, even more so to completely change the makeup of the court. This is because the Justices are not elected, rather they are appointed by the president and confirmed by the senate, and they retain their positions for life. It was designed this way to protect Americans from mob rule but it is for this reason that Justices should limit their activities to interpreting the law and they should not legislate from the bench. If we do not like a law that President Trump passed we can vote for someone else next election and also get rid of the members of congress who voted for the law that he signed. Americans were happy with Ronald Reagan and so he was followed by his own Vice President, George H. W. Bush. They were unhappy with his son, President George W. Bush, following the Iraq war, the collapse of the housing bubble, the ensuing financial crisis of 2008, the recession that followed and other issues gripping the country at the time, and so he was followed by Obama. Obama's key legislative achievement, The Affordable Care Act, also known as Obamacare, proved to be unpopular. There were tax hikes, increased regulation, broken promises related to military action overseas and protecting the civil liberties of Americans and life got harder for many Americans during his tenure, and so he was followed by Trump. These changes coincided with political shifts all across America, not just in congress and not merely from red to blue to red. The Tea Party movement that swept the country during the Obama years was a rebellion of Republican voters against the politicians and leadership in their own party. It is much easier to change the mayor of a city that to determine who will be the Governor of your state. Similarly, it is easier to get a Governor elected and control the state legislator than it is to win a Presidential election. Yet, however, difficult it is to create politcal change at the federal level, it takes years to radically change the makeup of the Supreme Court, and even longer to overturn a decision, however egregious it may be. Dredd Scott made slavery legal in the US and it took a civil war to overturn the results of that travesty of a ruling. 

This brings us to the issue of abortion. When Norma McCorvey, Roe in Roe v Wade, wanted an abortion in 1969, abortion was regulated at the state level. This made sense because as we said, politicians, especially at the local level, can be voted out of office. In this way, if New Yorkers approved of abortion they can elect state representatives and senators who will enact legislation to that effect and a governor who would sign such legislation into law. Texans felt otherwise, they abhorred this practice and their constitution and laws reflected as much. In Roe v Wade the supreme court ruled that a woman has a constitutional right to control her reproductive decisions and in doing so they stole the right of political and legislative self determination from Texas citizens and effectively made it impossible for the will of the people to be heard on this topic, not just in Texas but in every state of the union. Americans who are against abortion could express their opinion in books or the media but their wishes would not and could not be honored when it comes to legal protection for the unborn. Therefore, a huge focus of the advocacy and the hopes and dreams of pro-life Americans was to remove this unjust barrier. The fight was not just for the unborn but for the power of the people to be restored and to have their voice heard in in their own government. The Dobbs decision rightfully returned the regulation of abortion to the states and to the people where it belonged, and as such conservatives were energized to now get abortion  restrictions codified in law, now that they have the power to do as much.

 Make no mistake, this monumental win only happened through powerful messaging and years of efforts winning over hearts and minds, a mission that they intended to continue and double their efforts in as well. Since then, many states have severely restricted abortion and at this moment in time there is a presidential administration that is filled with defenders of life. This begs the question - where should the pro-life movement focus its efforts during the next stage of the fight? Of course continued legislative and political wins are imperative, however, I argue that we can somewhat rest on our laurels regarding that aspect of the fight and truly hone in on changing the culture and creating a tsunami level of transformation and attitude shift and create a society that embraces life in their perspective, beliefs, values and actions. *(see footnotes) 

The core of this change can only happen through a radical pursuit of love, kindness, compassion and display of humanity and respect for our fellow man, first and foremost on a personal level and then I will share some suggestions on a societal level. All the legislation and restriction will have limited effect to prevent her from terminating that pregnancy if her will to do so is strong enough. And even if she is unable to carry that out, is our end goal really to create resentful Moms with children they treat with coldness or abandon on street corners. (I specifically did not cite adoption or even safe havens which are important solutions to be uplifted for challenging circumstances.)  The same way paying people to get married will only create fake marriages and single moms, not happy families with children who are cherished and cared for, legal and monetary barriers to abortion alone without a moral and ethical revival will only foster multi generational resentment and hatred for conservatives and people of faith. 

When thinking of the pro-life mission in all its elements from a micro to a macro level we must ask ourselves where is the moment that counts the most? The answer is obviously in when it meets the lived experience and subsequent choices of the pregnant woman who is scared and reticent and not ready or willing to become a Mom and bring life into the world. When I was pregnant I did not know the name of the president, I had never heard of Live Action and I could not articulate why abortion felt wrong to me. So how can conservatives make a real difference to the pro-life cause? Be a kind person, be a reliable and trusted friend. Be the person your student, your neighbor or your cousin would turn to for non-judgmental support when they face a crisis. Prepare yourself for the moment someone you know faces this tough decision and turns to you for help. Downtown Abbey, a fictional TV show, portrays this message better than a thousand words could explain. Edith, the middle child of an aristocratic family finds herself pregnant out of wedlock. Her aunt opposes her plan to get an abortion but nonetheless accompanies her to the procedure so that she would not go alone, yet when sitting in the office her loving pleas for life penetrated and Edith ultimately chose faith, dignity and courage over shame and fear. 

You may be aghast at the suggestion to hold your tongue when a friend or a sister shares with you her intentions to get an abortion  but I can tell you from my own experience that all the arguments, facts and powers of persuasion will not penetrate when the rubber meets the road, emotions are high and the stakes are even higher. The power of human to human influence on a personal level is the same on many sensitive topics, I am arguing this case with regard to protecting the unborn but in my personal testimony I am referring to a situation when someone contemplates whether there is any value, meaning or reason for their own life. After years of leading a functional life alongside mental health struggles I fell again into a deep depression. Increasing severity of symptoms over time followed by a catastrophic fall caused the anxiety, shame and hopelessness to overcome me and for over a year I was disconnected from society and anything resembled a functioning lifestyle. I was locked in my own head in pain and doing all I could to numb myself and avoid additional discomfort. It was painful to do laundry or shower, I never cooked barely shopped for food and oftentimes purposefully avoided eating and engaged in other anti-social and self-destructive behaviors. When I did meet with mental health professional I did my best to cover up the truth of what was going on. I rejected the help that was offered and all of their arguments fell on deaf ears. In a debate on the value of life and the possibility to overcome illness and challenges I could have held my own and cited facts and talking points with the rest of them. What I couldn't do, what noone could do, was argue me out of my feelings. My world appeared dark and bleak and completely closed off from any hope or ability to participate or accomplish even the most basis of tasks or activities. In my mind I had already crossed the point of no return and I stubbornly stuck to the notion that I could just wait for reality to catch up. I am not so far from it to regret the possibility of having successfully carried that out but I do shudder at what else could have happened and I am grateful that I did not suffer a permanent injury or lifelong disability. Again, I knew better than anyone all the resources and alternative options I could have chosen but I was in so much mental anguish and distress I could not think past that. I felt I would be better off not being here and the world would be better off as well. 

So what changed? What could have possibly penetrated my rock hardened heart? The persistent and unconditional support of friends. There were my neighbors who demonstrated that they continued to care about me and see me for more than just someone who is smelly and unpleasant to be around. A prominent community figure who kept calling me and reaching out to invite me to events and to join his family for Shabbat and probe into my wellbeing, asking beyond the generic "how are you", and telling me how worried he and his family were at my absence and questioning me on my work, my schedule and what I do with myself day to day. Even when his phone broke and he lost my number, when he did call he apologized and told me of the efforts he had made to reach me and how concerned he was. He was relentless and persistent calling me again and again every few weeks, usually Friday afternoon, insisting that this time I accept his invitation and choose the company of friends over isolation. Other friends reached out in various ways throughout the year, some sent a message every once in a while others were more "annoying", which is how I felt at the time. I just wanted to be left alone. 

One of my closest friends thought I was ignoring her text messages, and though I did not see them, in all honesty, I probably would have ignored them eve if I had. She took the initiative and reached out to her mother in NY, who I was also friends with, and when I avoided her she called my sister, her neighbor. When I ignored my sister's phone call she had my brother who lives closer to where I did call me again and again, and I knew that if I didn't respond to him he might just show up at my door. Besides, this chain of phone calls was clearly not going to stop. Thy forced my hand but all they got out of me was a halfhearted effort to pretend all was normal. I insisted to them all that I was just busy and then I pretend to reassure my friend that we were still "in touch" and that I would certainly visit her "sometime soon". That is another painful aspect of that whole experience, seeing myself turn into a narcistic liar, nonetheless I did this feeling as I had no alternative. This pain and terror loomed over me large and dominant to such an extant that all I could think about or wish for was to avoid it escape it hide from it or in whatever way possible keep it at bay and protect myself from the anguishing distress it inflicted on aspect of my sense of experience. 

It was one friend in particular who penetrated and broke through those barriers and ignited in me the hope and the willingness to reach out for help and open myself to the possibility that things could be better. Though I still felt a huge sense of anxiety, despair and chaos I stopped engaging in self harm and following her heartfelt plea and encouragement I was honest with and accepted the help of mental health professionals and reconnected with society. It was with the support and suggestion of another group of friends that I took it upon  myself to pray at the Western Wall every day and received an anchor that enabled me to tolerate the intense anxiety I continued to experience and slowly lessen the suicidal thoughts.  It wasn't the Kabbalistic ideas that he shared with me that persuaded me to stop reaching for some non existent shortcut or escape hatch, it was his genuine empathy. He saw my pain, truly understood my anguish, and without being patronizing he conveyed his deep and sincere wish to see me healed and there be an end to my suffering. I felt like he carried my burden beyond even that moment, lessening the load I had to bear and making it possible for me to move forward. Love and friendship succeeded where all the finest arguments, cutting edge treatments and pharmaceuticals failed.

How does this connect to the fight to end abortion? Well let me ask you  this: what will determine the choice of a young college student in for example Columbia University in NY - a well articualted argument heard in DC by a persuasive politician she never heard of, a skillfully produced video that pulls on your heartstrings depicting the humanity of the baby in the womb floating somewhere on YouTube that she either will never see and believes has been debunked or the integrity and kindness of her Catholic economics professor who convinced her through his actions and living out his beliefs that the conservative worldview is both compassionate and truthful? I specifically invented this scenario because I was reminded of this message by Daniel Di Martino a Venezuelan professor of economics when I was watching some of his lectures online. He travels the country fighting to prevent communism from taking over America - he fled one dictatorship in his lifetime already and therefore is resolute in his mission to preserve the economic freedoms that he sees are under threat across the US. Though he himself has crafted long and articulate speeches and has written well researched articles to defend the principles of free market enterprise he says again and again that thy left will not be won over by talking points, slogans or political victories. It is natural for a person to protect their personal interest and only accept advice and opinions of those who have their genuine interest at heart. "Set an example," he argues. "When your communist friend gets you mad, be the better person." He further argues that people will discriminate, it is how our brains are wired. Give them a positive experience so they will have a positive assumption about conservative people and convince them not just to reject the evil and harmful ideas of communism but even become converted to the Catholic faith (this particular point was shared to an audience of Catholic students.) His words rang true because he experienced this in his own life. When he started college as a teenager, alone, having left his family back home, and in a country that was unfamiliar to him, he was confronted with values that contradicted the biblical beliefs he had been taught and actions were demanded of him that were in conflict with his Catholic faith. He stood strong and refused to compromise the principles he was raised with even when doing so put at risk the academic future he had worked so hard for. "When I think of a Catholic person, I dont think of a caricature, I think of my grandpa." The same grandfather who wrote him the letter that he read to the audience at the start of the speech and carries with him wherever he goes wishing him the best of luck on his journey and conveying all the love and hopes of a grandpa who went through a similar journey when he was that age, traveling to a faraway land and leaving his family behind in the hopes of a better future. It was this interaction and personal connection that inspired Daniel himself to see politics in this light and not through the prism of might makes right and it being all about winning the latest fight. 

In recent Jewish history we see the truth of his message time and again. A recent convert, Adina Shoshana, publicly shared the kindness she witnessed and personally experienced as the #nonjewishnanny for orthodox Jewish families in Boca Raton, Florida that inspired her to completely transform her life and become a part of the Jewish people. A prolific speaker and venerated Rabbi in Jerusalem, Rabbi Breitowitz, says that he decided as a young boy that he wanted to become a Talmudic scholar and pursue a life of devotion to religious observance because of the summer he spent in the presence of Rabbi Moshe Feinstein, a Torah giant from the previous generation. It was not his genius, brilliance or tremendous knowledge of Torah, rather is was his kindness that caught the attention and the heart of this impressionable child, now a respected and highly sought after Torah scholar and Jewish leader in his own right. Of course care must be taken not to take advantage of the vulnerable or misuse this avenue of persuasion such as a charismatic politician or other nefarious ways of manipulating peoples' emotions, rather this should always come from a place of genuine love for humanity and an authentic generosity of spirit. The families in Boca Raton were just looking for a reliable childcare provider, they had no intentions of convincing some random Christian girl to convert, something that is actually discouraged in our religion. They were kind to her as they would be to anyone they encountered in their day to  day lives, in or out of their home. Legend has it that Rabbi Feinstein vacationed in Hartford, Connecticut to find a respite from his heavy year round responsibility as a Rabbi and halachic advisor. Entirely outside of his role as a spiritual leader and instead acting as a human being his sterling character of kindness and a deep concern and compassion for others as his natural self he carried himself in such a way that left a transformative and lifelong impression on the people around him. 

All this is on a personal level where the true impact and change will occur, yet with this same spirit I urge continued activities and projects to create a cultural shift and change hearts and minds regarding abortion. What if we could triple the amount of crisis pregnancy centers across the country? What if they offered free or low cost diapers and clothing from birth to three? What if every city had at least one food pantry where struggling families could get help with lover and respect to their dignity? How about a scholarship for Dads, helping male high school graduates see that supporting their girlfriend in making the choice for life and pursuing a prosperous future is not only possible, but a journey they do not need to travel alone? Hollywood is not shy about conveying anti-life messages in movies and tv shows from Euthanasia, pulling the plug and of course abortion - I would love to see an explosion of conservative media with content that celebrates life. I am a medical show junkie and would love to see conservative content in the medical genre. But it can be in all forms of media and expression - the truth that conservatives values to not clash with kindness, dignity and compassion. Even our legislative goals can reflect a whole person approach if we seek harsher penalties for criminals who commit sexual assault, stand with victims of rape and domestic violence in their pursuit of safety, justice and a healing path forward. We keep hearing about the controversies regarding IVF and of course fertility solutions are critical but we can also find a solution and hope for couples hoping to become parents, children in difficult circumstances, women with unplanned or unwanted pregnancies if we make adoption much smoother and less expensive and reform and resolve issues in the foster care system. If we adopt these policy proposals, cultural attitudes and above all set a personal example of joy and compassion then person by person we will bring about a truly and completely "pro-life generation" in our lifetime. 

Notes:

1. I especially applaud the efforts of Senator Josh Hawley and FDA commissioner Dr. Marty Makary to reassess the status of Mifepristoe and defunding Planned Parenthood even for just a year is a huge cause for celebration. 

2. On a practical level for individuals who resonate with the struggles I described, several things helped me that I would suggest to you. Daily prayer at the western wall has been vital but I live in walking distance, however there are elements to this practice that can be adopted wherever you are. Having a reason to wake up every morning, daily prayer or meditation, 2 walks a day half hour each which can be one walk for an hour or whatever combination works for you. Also having that consistency in my daily routine which has impacted my physical health as well, for example I had severe abdominal pains and constipation for years despite diets and medications and even various exercise routines and I see that has been resolved as well due to this combination of a consistent morning routine and exercise. 

Another critical peace, which I alluded to, was leaning on friends for support. Really being intentional and receptive to this. I carry a lot of shame and despair and focusing on how my good friends see me and the faith they have in a positive future and their desire to see me succeed - all this has no effect if I dont let it but if in dark moments I meditate and contemplate on all this then it can carry me through. Something else that was critical is two aspects or skill sets in DBT - distress tolerance and articulating goals that are persoanally meaningful to me. Distress tolerance makes life bearable and goals and dreams make life worth living - kind of like two sides of a coin that go hand in hand.

3. I really wanted to include this point in the body of the article and perhaps instead I will dedicate another blog post to this topic - supporting mental health. I left the US because there was no support for me there. Think not just about suicide, which is the ultimate anti-life result, but all the countries and even states that legalized euthanasia, first for terminal illness such as cancer but eventually for mental illness even for otherwise healthy young adults. As I said once to a therapist - well what other alternative do you have to offer? We, as pro-life activists (and I say we because in theory I subscribe to these beliefs), cannot just say no. Consider as well all the homelessness and vagrancy with a recent executive order to tackle homelessness and all the arguments and controversy when the National Guard and other law enforcement officials shut down homeless encampments across DC. One way or another society will pay for the mentally ill. I described somewhat the extent of respect and acceptance I experience from my friends and community despite my serious mental health struggles. Sadly, this is not always the case. I know people who were ostracized and ignored and unable to find a community because people find this topic alienating and scary. As with abortion true solutions cannot just come from the top - nonetheless I beg politicians and community leaders in the US to watch the lecture I gave regarding the comprehensive support system I have that is funded by the Israeli government. These supports do not need to be taxpayer funded, in fact even here that are often private donors that supplement the costs of the programs and organizations and service providers. But even Milton Friedman said that the mentally ill is the responsibility of the taxpayers and the government - he was radically against socialism and all the variations of government taking responsibility to meet the needs of the private citizen. This is because people with mental illness cannot take care of themself, and as I said before, one way or another society will pay for their cost, it can be at the front end which also allows for them to have greater quality of life and meaning or the back end when they become homeless, aimless and a public nuisance.

Lecture for Amitim4u - my personal experience living with mental illness